Sometimes it is high expectation about what a family should be!
Sometimes it is unresolved conflict!
Sometimes it is fakeness and tolerance of evil talk against other siblings!
Sometimes it is family cliques and disparaging gossip within the family!
Sometimes it is siblings’ rivalry/competition!
Sometimes it is ingratitude and a feeling of entitlement!
Sometimes it is lack of reciprocity and selfishness!
Sometimes it is disrespect!
Sometimes it is unsupportive and manipulative parents or siblings!
Sometimes it is discrimination, hatred, bias and prejudice!
Sometimes it is a fallout from polygamy!

Sometimes it is lack of love between siblings and the user mentality!

Sometimes it is arrogance which prevents one from apologizing when you hurt others!

Sometimes it is unforgiveness!
Sometimes it is lack of understanding and refusal to listen to the feelings and perspectives of other family members!
Sometimes it is anger because voices and feelings are not heard, and people are branded negatively when they speak up!
Sometimes it is the parents not providing the leadership for fostering unity and bonding within the family.

If you are a parent and you join some of your children to speak disparagingly about your other children and their spouses / kids, instead of rebuking them when such discussions surface, you may be creating disunity in your family!

If the siblings that are not affected see no issues with these practices or choose to remain silent because they receive all the support, they may be contributing to the disunity in the family!

If one rises to speak up against such injustices and is not heard or worse still, is being attacked instead of acknowledging their feelings, this may be creating disunity in the family.

If you want unity in a family, watch out parents, that you are not promoting disrespect, discrimination and prejudices within your families. Be supportive of ALL your children, their spouses and your grandchildren. Listen with understanding to the feelings of ALL your children. Dismissing those feelings will harm your relationships in the long run. Do not take sides in any situation; rather, stay neutral and be objective to resolve any conflicts. Make use of relational intelligence and wisdom in handling ALL your children, their spouses and your grandchildren.

Families can only stay united when ALL are treated and supported equally. Families can only stay united when manipulative and user mentalities are eradicated. Families can only stay united when disparaging gossips among siblings about other siblings are eliminated. Families can only stay united if voices are heard and conflicts resolved objectively, rather than labeling folks who raise issues. Families can only stay united when there are no biases and prejudices. Families can only stay united when we can acknowledge wrongdoing and say, “I am sorry” and when we can also forgive.

A family need to be a place where we can find comfort, Love and solace, rather than heartaches.

A stable family unit makes a better community and a better world!